That Elusive Little Thing Called SLEEP

I just don't get it.

Lately when I've been getting home from work, I'm completely exhausted. Hell, I'm exhausted before I get home from work. I'm exhausted to the point where I could, in theory, easily skip dinner, head to bed and sleep like a rock for several hours.

Of course I don't do that. If I did, I'd never sleep at night.

But I'm not sleeping at night, anyway.

This is the about the fourth night in a row (I'm starting to lose count) where I have avoided taking any kind of evening nap, retire to bed at a decent hour, then lay there twitching, tossing, turning, flailing, and kicking until I finally get back up, throw on my bathrobe, put my contacts back in, and settle myself in front of the computer to wait until I get so tired I can't see straight anymore. The other night, the hour when I could no longer see straight was 4AM.

I completely understand why I had this problem in the past. Those evening naps were a hard habit to break. But I've been nap-free for several months and it still hasn't helped. The only time I can lay down and fall directly to sleep is after an entire night of playing poker - usually from 7PM until around 4AM. I'm in awe of Dave, who can be snoring before his head hits the pillow.

My sister says I should go for a sleep study. She did, and found she had sleep apnea and other assorted issues. She was asking me a bunch of questions - do I wake up a lot after I fall asleep? No. Is it dark in the bedroom? Yes - in fact I have a little sleep blindfold thingie Dave got me for christmas that's fabulous. Does it take longer than 15 minutes for me to fall asleep? Hell yes - sometimes it takes over an hour or two. I just can't fall asleep at night, I don't have any problems staying asleep. How much caffeine do I drink? Usually 2 cokes a day, but never after 7PM. Is it hard waking up in the morning? It's like fucking pulling teeth to get up in the morning - I've only had on average about 5 hours of sleep a night, of course it's hard waking up. I'd sleep till noon, if I could.

I'm loathe to do a sleep study, though. I rarely sleep at all in strange places - when we go on vacation, it usually takes a day or two for me to be able to sleep comfortably in an unfamiliar place. I just don't know how accurate a sleep study would be if that's the case. I guess it can't hurt to find out, because I have to do something. This is getting ridiculous. I just don't understand how I can be ready to fall asleep when I get home from work, then be magically wide awake once 10PM rolls around.

Maybe I should be working a night shift.