In a Mood

Yesteray's irritation abated a bit, mostly thanks to Dave who lent a sympathetic ear and listened to me bitch about Irritation Codename GRASS last night.

But sometimes I'm a stewer (if that's even a word), and I got irritated this morning again just thinking about it.

So I spent the day doing what I usually do when I'm angry. I cleaned.

I polished furniture. I vacuumed the floor, furniture, pillows, and crevices I didn't even know existed. I cleaned the windows. Scrubbed the toilet. Mopped the floor. Polished the bathroom faucet. I was a maniac.

The house really needs to be cleaned - that says a little bit about how often I get angry. Maybe if people pissed me off to this degree on a more regular basis I wouldn't find dust bunnies under the furniture.

But that's part of the problem. I'm not a person who gets angry easily. Sure, things irritate me, but I can glower to myself, then usually vent about it and be done with it. I rarely, if ever, take my irritation out on other people. But I'm thoroughly fed up with people who do.

I was starting to feel a little better as the house got cleaner, but then I spoke to someone "in a mood". Well, you know what? I'm fucking sorry you're in a mood. If I wasn't the cause of the mood, don't fucking take it out on me by being rude. Up the dosage on the fucking antidepressants or something. If I am the cause of it, then fucking say something - if I'm not aware of it, I can't do anything about it. I'm just so fucking tired of walking on eggshells around people in a mood. And I'm sick of letting other people's problems bring me down.

So I'm stewing again, which is part of the reason why I can't sleep. I figured I'd be out cold after my cleaning fiasco today, but I found myself in bed hogged mostly by a 19-pound miniature schnauzer (sprawled out sideways on his back with legs poking everywhichway) and a loudly snoring Dave. I was staring up at the ceiling, feeling my leg start to go numb because I couldn't turn over, and I started getting irritated again. I decided to abandon my valuable 6" of bed space to vent about it here.

Well, if I'm still angry tomorrow, the kitchen still needs to be cleaned...